Sweet Child O’ Mine
Nine years and a few months have passed and my son’s all grown-up. In three years he’ll be in high school already. Damn.
After he was born, I told myself that I will try my best to teach him everything that I believe can help him face this oh, so cruel world. Although some would say I’m not very much qualified for that, I believe that I’ve had lots of experiences which can be used as examples (bad ones in particular, hehehe). From that time on, I knew that I would be one hell of a paranoid parent — always thinking that something bad might happen to my son anytime or imagining almost every untoward incident that could possibly happen to him. They say it’s normal for parents to act that way and I agree. But some people (myself included) say that I’m being too anxious, paranoid and overacting. I usually ask them, "Why not?" Most of us have seen a freak accident or mishap before and the idea that it can happen to anyone at any given time flips me out.
But it’s not just about his physical safety that I’m worried about. I also don’t want my son to get hurt emotionally or mentally (although I admit that sometimes I am guilty of causing him this). I want him to be tough, to be a strong person, inside and out.
Let’s just say I think of my son as a bansoy (that’s bansot na punong-kahoy, the Filipino version of bonsai). Some say that plants turned into bansoys (or bonsais) are deprived of their natural growth and are not given the proper care they deserve — the leaves and roots are pruned, the branches are twisted and wired to achieve a certain form, and the plant is confined in a pot. But in reality, a bansoy requires more than what an ordinary plant needs, simply because of its condition. Bansoy pots come in a variety of shapes, depending upon the shape of the plant (quality pots are ceramic and are high-fired to withstand freezing temperatures). Re-potting is also advised every two years while in development and less often as they mature. Because of the limited space in a pot, bansoy care can be quite difficult. Shallow containers limit the root system making proper watering practically an art in itself. Soil moisture should be monitored daily and water given abundantly when needed. A bansoy requires more hours under the sunlight and most of them are not suited for indoor culture, otherwise they will die. And after years of one’s labor in creating a bansoy, the result will be a beautiful plant resembling a tree that has grown in nature. This is why I compare my son to a bansoy. He is not a typical child in a typical situation that requires typical attention.
It’s funny — I exert so much effort and try too hard in teaching him and preparing him for the real world when in fact the only way he can truly learn his lessons is to go through life itself. Whenever he looks at me, whenever he talks to me, I can see and hear that he is more than ready.
I guess I’m just not ready to let him go… I don’t think I’ll ever be.
